Previously, on We are Made of Everyone Else

So this year? Beat me down. And then kicked me while I was on the ground. To be fair, a lot of it was a long time coming -- not that I deserved it, but more like these are the consequences to my action or inaction.

(What's the difference between deserving and consequences sound like? Hopefully a lick of judgement or non-judgement.)

Or really, in this case, the inability to even sit with an uncomfortable emotion, with a difficult emotion. I do feel shame rising up in me as I say I'm starting again, and hopefully this time, but there's also -- hey yeah, let's start again.

Let me catch you up, we've sold another house. My brothers are all married. Papa lives in a condo with Tita Didi. And I live alone.

Now in a 29sqm condo that is a mess and full of my used-to-live-in-a-house stuff. I say, now because I used to live alone in a 2-BR 54sqm condo that I loved (was messy too, but hid it better.) I can even still see my old building from where I live now, but them's the consequences.

My family bailed me out of a very difficult situation, and this state I'm in—by far—is definitely a step up for me. It may not be obvious to many people, or to anyone really, but progress possibly on the sacred timeline (bwahahaah) has been made.

I might be speaking in riddles, but just know i think this might be a comedy.

What else? Just quickly, I've been diagnosed with bipolar2 disorder and am on actual mood stabilizers, I'm seeing my psychotherapist still and she still softens the blow of the truth with a faux New York accent. I'm also seeing a psychiatrist (thus the meds) who also happens to be an addiction specialist.

I still work in Social Media, but I think I've figured out that I can write but possibly not for advertising (so not a Creative at work.) But I think the Internet and the human beings on and off it are endlessly interesting and terrifying and lovable and grotesque etc etc etc, so I might actually just like figuring that out. The agency I've been working for has gone through yet another name change.

But am still here. I hope you are too.